A Life Update: Intuitive Eating, Feeling Lonely, and Performing in Chicago

Happy May everyone! This post is going to be a little different, as you can probably tell by the title. I take myself and this blog way too seriously sometimes. I get it in my head that everyone only wants information and advice, and that I should keep my personal life out of it. But my personal life is exactly why I started this blog in the first place, and I want to be able to share what’s going on! It has been about 6 weeks since I launched In Bloom and the response has been awesome! My main reason for this blog is not for followers, or a brand deal, or money; but really just to connect with other gals and share about a lifestyle that inspires women to feel beautiful and vibrant through health and fitness. Thank you to those of you who have reached out to me or read any of my posts. One of my biggest epiphanies in my journey is that I was not alone. Even in the deepest, darkest valleys, I was never alone. There is a whole tribe of women out there that is waiting to lift you up and support you! I’m getting side tracked; but again THANK YOU ALL <3

Okay, now let’s chat about intuitive eating. This is something I have definitely NOT been doing the past month. Because I am so passionate about health, I am always immersed in a study, my education, or websites dedicated to well-being. Honestly, I tend to get a little wrapped up in it all. I found myself over-obsessing about health and making some petty little food rules. My digestion was so off, and I couldn’t figure out why I felt so blah, even though I was eating so clean and healthy! I realized what I was doing to myself a few days ago after hosting a girls night with the beautiful ladies I’m currently performing in West Side Story with at the Lyric Opera in Chicago. Now, normally when I go out to eat or attend some sort of celebration that has lot’s of food, I put it in my head that for the next few days thereafter, I need to eat really super clean to “get back on track”. NO. THIS IS A TOTAL LIE! Anyway, the next day, I got home after a matinee and was reallyyy craving some left over deep dish that I had in the fridge. I went back and forth with myself for a minute before I realized how absolutely ridiculous I WAS BEING! Why was I trying to justify eating this bomb pizza? Sure it’s not conventionally healthy, and I had a big healthy meal prep in the fridge, but that didn’t sound good to me at all… So, I took a deep breathe, and reminded myself to listen to my body. My analytical brain was telling me no, but my body was definitely telling me “yes.” Girl, I ate that pizza (definitely 2 slices) and felt so good! Listening to your body proves itself over and over again. You know what would’ve happened if I had ignored my body and eaten my meal prep? I wouldn’t have been satisfied and would have been thinking about pizza, leading me to over-eating other things to compensate for the lack. Every time I don’t listen to my body, it reacts back with a confident “I told you so.” Something I always share on my blog is that the healthiest choice you can make when it comes to food is the one that agrees with your body and doesn’t stress you out. Listening to your body and eating intuitively, for me, feels like pressing that last final puzzle piece into a 1000-piece puzzle- just right and true.

I want to keep this platform 100% honest. April was a really hard month for me in dealing with loneliness. It was a feeling I couldn’t shake for weeks, and it was really pulling me down. I’m living alone while I’m here in Chicago performing, which adds to it a bit. However a big part of it is missing my boyfriend and my family. While it may seem like it would be the opposite, a performer’s life can be very isolating. It’s hard to explain, but those of you who are performers and travel a lot know what I mean. There were so many days when I would call my mom sobbing about how I felt so lonely. These conversations led us into discussing me possibly adopting a dog when I get back to NYC…hehehe not mad about that outcome. I wanted to share this because I got a DM recently that asked how I can be so happy and positive all the time. My first thought when I read that was that I’m not! Yes, I am a very positive person; I like to have an optimistic mindset and spread happy vibes everywhere, but I still have bad days and hard times. If you’re ever feeling lonely, I encourage you to get out of wherever you are (for me it’s my studio apartment), and spend time away from that space. Meet with a friend, FaceTime a family member, and hold it in your heart that you are never alone. Know that tomorrow is always coming, and you won’t be stuck in this place forever, though it may seem like it. Now I have the song “There’s Always Tomorrow” from the OG Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer movie stuck in my head…

To wrap everything up, I want to share my gratitude for being here in Chicago! West Side Story holds a very special place in my heart! To have the honor of performing at theLyric Opera, and working with the most dedicated and talented cast, is fiercely inspiring! I look forward to charging with my Shark familia every night, and the dressing room shenanigans always have me laughing. I am having so much fun with the amazing new friends I am making, and looking forward to my birthday in a few weeks! Whoop whoop! Now that the show is open, I’m excited check out more of the restaurant scene here. I’ve already had mouth-watering ramen, a killer brunch burger, and of course DEEP DISH! Let me know if anyone is near Chicago. I’d love for you to come see the show!

Lovelies, thank you for taking the time to read this. My heart goes out to all of you. Happy graduation season; summer is so close! Much love!

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